It’s your empathy that keeps you raw and vulnerable, and sometimes shutting others out is the only way to give yourself the space you need to recover. I have found that 99% of the people I have dealt with in life have their own agendas and you truly don’t know if they want you to succeed or want to see you fail. It may seem like a harsh tactic, and it is, but from the INFJ’s point of view, they It’s important to listen. It’s pretty easy to avoid an INFJ door slam.
They can choose to try to work things out with this person, set boundaries, or distance themselves from that person, while still maintaining some semblance of the relationship. When we start to identify an ongoing issue, we will probably come to you to try and discuss it because our relationships are deeply important to us. Does the INFJ keep being friends with this person, even though it causes them pain (or some other chronic negative emotion)? To put it succinctly, INFJs are an endangered species and we need to protect that special gift of being an INFJ and the qualities that come with it.
We will swallow our pride. Contact will slowly become more infrequent as time goes on, until the other person realizes they’re no longer there. Your relationship probably won’t return to what it was before the Door Slam, but if you’ve succeeded in getting an INFJ to reopen the door – and if you persist in treating your friend as you want to be treated – there’s every reason to hope your relationship will become even stronger. This is our ultimate defence mechanism. From what I read, you did all you could. If someone calls you weird, etc., take that as a compliment. And you feel that pain along with their attacks. So ….. an INFJ must respect themselves FIRST because if they don’t, no one else will. Our hearts do deserve peace, and protection as well. i came here in hopes reading this would help me make a decision but my heart is still not settled… basically, i have had this friend for over a year now and she was special and important to me but she has been repeatedly hurting me and showing very little consideration for my feelings while being unreasonably unfair when i do anything that hurts her even if i wasn’t doing anything wrong.
My parents said to me once: “Protect yourself from […] Required fields are marked *. : I door-slammed on friends that I thought would support me after a relationship ended, especially as they were friends with the both of us. He usually tells me things after the point to where it has bothered him to death before I know anything about it and have a opportunity to change.
It depends on the relationship.
How Can Dogs Help Curtail Social Anxiety? A few years ago, I had a friend who was someone I couldn’t imagine living without.
. Setting Boundaries to Protect the INFJ Relationship, A Rare Look into an INFJ ENTP Relationship, 27 Insightful and Mildly Funny Introvert Quotes, Unexpected Ways Minimalism Liberates the Introvert Mind, A New Approach to Intracranial Pressure I Now Believe in (Treatment, Part 3). You wouldn’t have it any other way. Most of this article will be written as though you are the INFJ introvert.
Learn how your comment data is processed. Otherwise, don’t be surprised if you find you have been betrayed. Remember, not EVERYONE is an INFJ therefore they should NOT be accorded the same cordialities and respect. Don’t listen to anyone, listen to yourself! all my other friends tell me to drop her as a friend, to let her go because things have grown toxic. When we do it, we don’t look back. One day, an INFJ will ‘click’ with someone just meant for them; and, above all else, an INFJ’s life is a lonely life so don’t let loneliness dictate what you do or continue in a relationship that was merely a lesson for you.
The decision to resort to a Door-Slam is one of the hardest moments an INFJ will ever face. There is the rub. Factoring there are few of us, it may feel as though we are swimming up Niagara Falls. Forgive… forgive everyone O my fellow INFJs…. You are most welcome, thank you once more. Your email address will not be published. You can do it without hesitation – and without feeling anything but relief.
I have lived longer than most of your readers; and, I can tell you from personal experience, to be an INFJ is a challenge. After all, it’s so much easier to focus on logic than to address emotions. It’s a last resort. We will move mountains for those we cherish the most. I’m so happy to hear you liked the article, and that it helped you so much. The point is that any kind of relationship is a two-way street, and the relationship in question has become very unbalanced. Related: 6 Careers To Avoid For INFJ Personality Types. Skip down past the next two paragraphs to the actual question if it’s too much reading! These words still echo inside my head. What if the other person isn’t listening, blames us, or just continues the same toxic behavior towards us? And every negative feeling drags you down and makes you feel worse. Remember, your time is just as valuable and why waste it when there are other fantastic things you can be doing that will bring wondrous things in your life. Give them another option. Hint: It should cost you something (not necessarily money). i am going through something with a friend that i considered very dear to me before and i’m not sure what to do. *The reason for my response though is that lately I have been wondering if other personality types would do something similar to the INFJ door slam as well. mindfulness, kindness, respect, awareness and oodles of other positive goodies.
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. The INFJ Door Slam is a common phrase used to describe a person with the INFJ personality type cutting someone out of their life, usually for good. WIll he ever come around ? should i listen to my friends or give her another chance? Healing is a process that can’t be rushed, whether it’s physical or emotional.
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